Lost.... pt.2

The earlier post was about someone and myself... obviously.
They may read this, they may not. Regardless, I've got to get a lot out there to someone, or in this case, something.... Enjoy.

So It's been almost four months since I've really felt like we were "ok". We were great leading up to your graduation... I came to see you in the city, and after that, It all came tumbling down. I don't know how, or why, or what... Basically, I'm still lost, four months later. We talked on and off from that point... we even had a few talks about what had happened... we said we'd work on it.. we'd try to make it work... and unfortunately, thus far, It hasn't.

I sit here, and wonder, what happened? We seemed so .. good? It was a feeling for you, that I've never felt before in my life... and I still feel the same, albeit combined with a lost feeling now.

I'm lost in all of this and cannot for the life of me, find my way out. We can't even seem to find the time right now, to get together and talk face to face... I can only imagine it'd be so much easier to say what we both need to get out in person, rather than abrupt, untimely, and seemingly unproductive text messages.

I don't know why I've sat here, for four months, and just waited.. I've never done it before...ever. I've pretty much asked myself the same question, every day, these past months... "Why?" There's never been that guarantee that it'll fix itself... or that we'd get that chance to fix it. You've never asked me to wait... let's get that out there.. It's always been my choice. I don't regret a single day, to be completely honest. I've asked myself why I don't regret it, and I think I've finally come up with an "ok" answer, at least for myself.

I believe in us. I believe that You and I, are meant for more than this. Over the past two years that I've known you, we've become closer than I ever could have imagined, and obviously at the same time, have become farther apart, than I could have ever imagined, or wanted for that matter. I also believe, that we've helped each other grow as adults, beyond anything we could have thought would come about from us being friends, and then some.

Thats the start of it... I can't lie, this felt good.. to get it out there.. I know people, who don't know me, or do know me, be it well or not, can/will read this. So be it. This is my life as it is. Welcome to it.